My hand turned me down
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
