she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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