You really coming over, don't trick.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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