Define "chronic" masturbator.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
