Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
he puts the penis in happiness.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
