Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize