Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
