oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
