You really coming over, don't trick.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
