Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
