It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's just like the Real World with babies
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She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
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Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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