Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
