you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
how drunk are you?
Several
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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