Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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