i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
