Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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