Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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