I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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