you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
