i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize