yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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