drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I am spending my child support on dildos
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
