You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
