So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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