Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
