I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guiltš
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceaƱera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
