If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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