if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
