I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize