im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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