After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
