need another drink. this is the easiest way
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
