Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize