So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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