His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
