Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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