Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's just like the Real World with babies
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
