I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
