i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
