I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
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