its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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