Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Randomize
