and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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