What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
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I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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