I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
