I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize