my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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