Define "chronic" masturbator.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
