I'm gonna have a badass scar
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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