Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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