im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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