No stitches, just platelets and will power
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
