Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
